Telemarketers

One of the joys of working in IT is that we get some of the most inane telemarketing calls on the face of the planet. This afternoon, someone called claiming that I'd mailed in a business reply card from a magazine I don't even receive and that I'd be receiving a complimentary coffee cup from their company, a supplier of screen wipes.

I told them "No, thank you." And the conversation went downhill from there.

Her: "What do you mean?"

Me: "I don't want anything from a company that so blatantly lies."

Her: "I haven't lied to you."

Me: "I can count about four of them so far: that I sent in a business reply card from a magazine I don't even receive requesting a coffee cup I have no need for and expressing interest in a product I have no use for."

Her: "Maybe one of your co-workers sent in the card in your name."

Me: "No, they didn't so quit lying."

Her: "You sound like a fag."

Me: "Thanks!" .

Granted, "Thanks!" wasn't one of my top 10 retorts. But, I'm alright with it in this context because (a) it's a work line and at least I wouldn't have anything to feel guilty about if a recording were replayed, and (b) for once, I got to take the high road (nice view!).

My coworker (who got a similar call with a less spectacular outcome last week) and I chuckled for quite awhile about whether "You sound like a fag" was a selling technique they've found particularly successful for them.

Was the conversation supposed to turn around at that point, with me realizing that these scammy screen wipes might be able to wipe the gay away?

We contemplated asking a couple of our sales guys for their opinion on the likelihood of closing a sale with a line like that, but thought better of it.

So, if you're in the market for screen wipes, stay away from a company called Chemware. They've gotta be on the east coast somewhere, because we don't raise 'em that ballsy in the heartland.